A Story of Love, Trauma, and Courage

I recently watched the movie adaptation of It Ends With Us, with Blake Lively as the lead actress opposite Justin Baldoni. This film, based on the bestselling novel by Colleen Hoover, struck a deep chord with me, as it delves into themes of love, trauma, and the courage to break cycles of abuse.

The Story in Brief
The narrative follows Lily Bloom, who returns to her hometown in Maine to deliver a eulogy at her father’s funeral, only to be haunted by an empty list of positive memories. Back in Boston, she meets Ryle Kincaid, a neurosurgeon with whom she starts a relationship, only to discover he harbors a dark, violent side. The story unfolds through flashbacks of Lily’s past with Atlas Corrigan, a boy who became her first love amidst his struggles with homelessness and abuse.

As the story progresses, Lily finds herself grappling with the painful reality of Ryle's abusive behavior, a cycle she recognizes from her parents' relationship. Through her journey of heartbreak, resilience, and self-discovery, Lily ultimately makes the courageous decision to prioritize her safety and the well-being of her daughter, Emmy, breaking the generational cycle of abuse.

A Personal Reflection
This story resonated deeply with me, particularly in its portrayal of the complexities of abusive relationships. Sometimes, when we love someone, we unconsciously accept their traumas, triggers, and the behaviors they bring with them—even when those behaviors hurt us. When that love starts to hurt—when it begins to erode your peace, your safety, and your sense of self—it’s a decision you can’t avoid. I know someone who's very close to me who's in this kind of situation from her past relationships. 

She had been there before—deeply in love with someone who carried immense pain and trauma from their past. She saw their vulnerability, their humanity, and the parts of them they kept hidden from the world. She believed, with every fiber of her being, that her love could heal them. That if she stayed, she could be their anchor, their safe harbor.

But love, no matter how strong, isn’t always enough to save someone who hasn’t chosen to save themselves. Their unresolved trauma bled into the relationship, manifesting in anger, control, and, eventually, violence. The first time it happened, she was in shock. They apologized profusely, blaming the stress, the day, the memories of their past. And she forgave them, wanting so badly to believe it was a one-time thing, that it would never happen again.

It did.

Each time, the cycle repeated itself—love, hurt, apology, hope—until she barely recognized herself. She found herself walking on eggshells, trying to avoid triggers, making excuses for behavior she knew deep down was unacceptable. She told herself she could endure it because she loved them. But everything changed when she became a mother.

Looking at her child, she realized the cost of staying was too great. She couldn’t allow them to grow up in an environment where fear and chaos reigned, where they might learn that love could coexist with pain and control. She owed them better. And she owed herself better, too.

The Hard Truth About Letting Go
The most poignant lesson from It Ends With Us is the importance of prioritizing your own safety and mental health—especially if you are a parent. As much as you may love someone, staying in a harmful relationship can have devastating consequences, not only for you but for your children.

Walking away from someone you love is one of the hardest decisions you can make. You’ll miss them, you’ll long for the good moments, but when their presence begins to compromise your peace and safety, it’s time to let go.

A Message to Women in Similar Situations
To every woman who has experienced abuse, I hope you find the courage to break free and never return. You deserve love, respect, and peace. You are not responsible for someone else’s healing or their pain, and it’s okay to prioritize your own well-being.

For those still searching for the strength to leave, remember: you are not alone. Support systems exist, and there are people who care and want to help you.

Final Thoughts
It Ends With Us is more than just a story; it’s a reminder of the strength it takes to break free from toxic cycles. It’s about choosing yourself, choosing a better future for your children, and finding hope and love beyond the pain.

Let’s support one another, raise awareness, and inspire others to take the steps they need toward safety and healing.

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