Embracing Both Roles: A Single Mom’s Journey on Father’s Day

“Where's your husband?” is a question I used to dread. Every time it came up, it felt like a spotlight shining on my reality. Yes, I don't have one, happy? Then came the inevitable flood of why's. I honestly hated it. But over time, I got used to it and began to answer candidly: I'm a single mom.

The Double Duty of Parenting

Being a single mom is a journey filled with unique challenges, especially when you're playing both parental roles. I’ve attended father-son conferences as a mom and participated in school activities traditionally requiring a father. I joined games on family days meant for father-son partnerships, taking on roles I never imagined I could fulfill.

One unforgettable moment was when my son, at just three years old, realized it was just the two of us. He assured me he'd always stay with me and wouldn't look for his dad. As he grew older, he faced the pain of not having a complete family like his friends. During his teenage years, we had a heart-to-heart talk. I explained that while I try my best to provide everything he needs, a father is something only time or fate can bring. Perhaps it may never happen, but I wanted him to understand how to be a gentleman, to treat women fairly and equally, and to love unconditionally.

The Hidden Struggles

Single moms face many hidden struggles, especially on days like Father’s Day. We often feel the weight of expectations and societal norms. We grapple with the emotional labor of explaining our family dynamics, all while striving to give our children a sense of normalcy and completeness. The world often celebrates traditional families, and it’s hard not to feel a pang of sadness or inadequacy when bombarded with Father’s Day greetings and celebrations.

Emotional Labor and Resilience

The emotional labor of being both mom and dad is immense. It’s not just about fulfilling the duties but also about being there emotionally. We become the sounding board, the support system, and the guide through life’s ups and downs. The pain and trauma our kids endure is something we constantly strive to mend, hoping one day our efforts will be enough.

Moments of Heartache and Triumph

There are heart-wrenching moments, like seeing your child look wistfully at friends with both parents, or hearing them question why their family is different. There’s the challenge of trying to explain complex emotions and circumstances in a way that their young minds can understand. Yet, there are also moments of triumph—when your child expresses gratitude, shows resilience, or achieves something significant. These moments remind us why we keep pushing forward.

Finding Strength in Community

As single moms, we often seek strength in community—finding solace in the stories and support of others in similar situations. We learn from each other, sharing tips, offering shoulders to cry on, and celebrating each other’s victories. It’s this sense of community that helps us navigate the tough times and cherish the good ones.

A Message to Great Fathers

To all the great fathers out there, happy Father’s Day! Your dedication, love, and presence shape the lives of your children in incredible ways. You are deeply appreciated and celebrated.

A Tribute to Single Moms

And to all the single moms who continue to survive every Father’s Day, you are warriors. Your resilience, strength, and boundless love are extraordinary. You embody both roles with grace and courage, and your children are proud of the incredible parent you are. Keep shining, keep thriving, and know that you are more than enough.

Reflecting on the Journey

Reflecting on my journey, I realize that while it’s been filled with challenges, it’s also been incredibly rewarding. My son and I have built a bond that is unbreakable. He’s grown into a compassionate, understanding, and loving young man, and I take immense pride in that.

Every challenge faced, every tear shed, and every hurdle overcome has led us to where we are today. This Father’s Day, I stand tall, knowing that I’ve done my best. To all single moms, remember that your efforts are seen, your sacrifices are appreciated, and your love is unparalleled.