#YesToDivorce: The Philippines - The Second Country (After Vatican) Where Divorce is Illegal

My son and I visited Quiapo Church today, where we were met with numerous "No To Divorce" signs. This made me reflect deeply. If I were still a married woman today, facing abuse, infidelity, and financial exploitation, would seeking a divorce be seen as my path to hell? Who has the right to judge me? A priest? A cardinal? This feels like hypocrisy.

𝗗𝗶𝘃𝗼𝗿𝗰𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗕𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲:

The Bible addresses divorce multiple times. God created marriage to be good for us, but sin has led to broken relationships. Even among Christians, divorce is now common. Let's look at what the scriptures say about divorce.

In Genesis 2:24, the Bible lays the foundation for marriage: "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Jesus reiterates this unity and indissolubility of marriage in the New Testament (Matthew 19:5-6). The Bible provides two grounds for divorce: sexual immorality and abandonment by an unbelieving spouse. Sexual immorality covers a wide range of behaviors, and Jesus allows for divorce in these cases (Matthew 5:32, 19:9). Paul also addresses abandonment, allowing the believing partner to move on (1 Corinthians 7:15).

The Bible emphasizes that marriage is sacred and should last a lifetime. Divorce should be a last resort, focusing on forgiveness, reconciliation, and healing.

I'm not a Bible expert, but I believe I can challenge those who condemn women for seeking a divorce. Don't you think men might want this option too? It's a win-win for both genders.

𝗗𝗶𝘃𝗼𝗿𝗰𝗲 𝗟𝗮𝘄𝘀 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗱𝘄𝗶𝗱𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗽𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀:

Only two countries in the world — Vatican City and the Philippines— have legal provisions for divorce. In Vatican City, the unique status and religious governance mean that divorce is not applicable. In the Philippines, the influence of Catholic teachings and cultural factors have led to the absence of divorce legislation.

The lack of divorce legislation is particularly challenging for women in abusive or unhappy marriages. Without legal means to leave, many suffer in silence, trapped in harmful situations.

𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗠𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝗧𝗼𝗹𝗹 𝗼𝗻 𝗙𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗽𝗶𝗻𝗼 𝗪𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗻:

The inability to file for divorce can be mentally draining for Filipino women, leading to prolonged emotional and physical suffering. Being stuck in an abusive or toxic marriage can cause severe psychological distress, depression, and anxiety. The stigma attached to seeking separation, especially in a society deeply influenced by Catholic teachings, exacerbates these issues. Women are often judged harshly, not only by the church but also by their communities, for wanting to leave their spouses, regardless of the reasons.

This lack of legal recourse often leads to a higher rate of infidelity, as both men and women may seek emotional and physical solace outside their marriages. Without the option of divorce, individuals are left with few alternatives to address their marital dissatisfaction, further complicating their mental and emotional well-being.

So, who is truly at fault here? Those who violated the Ten Commandments or those who have been abused yet remained loyal or seeking to file a divorce? And what if one partner harms the other? Isn't this situation creating a compelling reason for even greater sins than filing for divorce to move on and find peace? By denying the option of divorce, aren't we, in fact, perpetuating a cycle of greater moral and emotional damage?

𝗦𝗲𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗖𝗵𝘂𝗿𝗰𝗵 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝘁𝗲:

Separating church and state is essential to ensure that religious beliefs do not dictate the laws governing a diverse population. While the church has its teachings and doctrines, these should not interfere with the state's responsibility to protect and provide for all its citizens, regardless of their faith.

Priests and pastors are vital in guiding their congregations; their mission is to share the Word, influence positively, and remind us of spiritual teachings. However, God has also given us the ultimate gift of free will. This divine gift allows individuals to make personal choices, including marriage decisions. It is essential that the church respects this free will and understands that its spiritual guidance should not translate into legal mandates.

𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗥𝗲𝗳𝗹𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀:

While the sanctity of marriage is a value held by many religions, including Catholicism, it is crucial to recognize the complexities of human relationships and the need for compassionate and pragmatic solutions. Divorce, though not ideal, is sometimes necessary to protect individuals from harm and allow them to seek happiness and peace. The state must provide legal avenues for divorce, separate from religious doctrines, to ensure the well-being and rights of all its citizens.

As the author of this piece, I write from a place of personal experience and deep empathy. I have endured the tedious and emotionally draining process of annulment, a path not all women have the resources or access to navigate. My journey has shown me the profound need for compassionate and pragmatic solutions, like divorce, to protect the well-being and rights of individuals. It's time we acknowledge the complexities of human relationships and respect the free will that God has given us. By separating church doctrine from state laws, we can create a society that upholds both spiritual guidance and individual freedoms, ensuring that everyone can seek happiness and peace in their lives.